Hi my name is Mack and I've been battling a problem with surfing that has been affecting me and the ones closest to me for quite some time now. It is the constant anger and disappointment that comes with missing a session or even worse, blowing one up in real time that has me on edge. If this sounds familiar to you or one of your loved ones, read on below. No toxic positivity here, hopefully just a solution!
I actually love juggling 3 kids, my relationship, TAFE, Goes To Sea, a growing beer gut and my non-existent social life so Im not asking you to feel sorry for me, but surfing becomes a precious escape, squeezed into the tiny windows of opportunity left between school drop-offs, work, errands and mowing the lawn. Add tides, wind, and swell direction into the mix and it feels nearly impossible to consistently get the wave count up. First-world problems for sure, but that's not the point.
Thinking back to my misled youth, surfing, skateboarding and music reigned supreme in some form of varying order. During high school the identity of a musician started to really sharpen and off I went into young adulthood as a living, breathing, touring and recording artist. Throughout my twenties, music remained a priority, with surfing and skateboarding close behind.
Then somewhere along the line, surfing more, surfing better became my focus. I start to notice myself getting sour at the over-hyped reports, bummed that I blew a section and don't get me started on new ‘surfers’ entering the line up (even though they are potential new supporters of the brand!?) I am still in my thirties but had I become the salty old guy, am I over the hill, do I hate surfing?
This wasn't me. I knew I needed a change. So I ventured into the personal development section of my local bookstore and stumbled upon "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" by Mark Manson, you know the one that you saw in the airport newsagent for years on end? I flicked through the first few pages and before I knew it, I was done with chapter one. This book was coming home with me.
Later that night once the kids were in bed and the front door was locked, I jumped back into where I left off and almost instantly a paragraph stood out like a beacon. Mark writes “negative emotions are a call to action. When you feel them, it’s because you’re supposed to do something. Positive emotions, on the other hand, are rewards for taking the proper action.”
This was the light bulb I was after. This is where it started to really click for me. I was putting too many expectations on the idea of identifying as a surfer.
In my eyes a surfer is someone who surfs at a high level consistently and has access to quality waves regularly. That is not what I am or what I have. My ability has changed since my teenage years, trading spring for more rail control as it works for my body type now. Where I live, the waves are average at best with varying degrees of “on their day”. So why would I put so much pressure on something that I am passionate about?
To Marks point, my negative feelings towards surfing needed an action and the action that came was reflection. My relationship with surfing is probably perfect for where my life is at right now. I surf when I can, make the most of it and leave it there. What the fuck was I complaining about? The positive emotions I have around juggling 3 kids, my relationship, TAFE, Goes To Sea and an ever growing beer gut are rewards for taking proper action by putting them first!
Does this make sense? Be here now, live in the moment type stuff. Yes it can be hard when you are in the thick of it but try and look up and realise that at least you are surfing, at least you are in the water and at least you are ALIVE. Ok, so maybe that was a bit of toxic positivity but if you are still a grumpy fuck because people are getting waves and you're not, try "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck" by Mark Manson from your local bookstore.